Hello futurists, friends, and outliers:

Welcome back to Space Camel
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Your number one source of news, insight, and satire on the random, weird, interesting, and dystopian stuff bubbling up from the world of science & tech that hopefully won’t melt your face off but like, maybe will. 🫠

this guy doesn’t respect the importance of feelings

In today’s epic post, we’ll cover the topics below
news stories selected for relevance, recency, and click-bait sensationalism

  • xAI’s Grok chatbot can access your camera and wants to talk about it

  • Old Soviet satellite will crash into Earth in two weeks

  • China flexes its dam building muscles once again

  • Mmm, taste that fine plastic-dust flavored water

  • Zuck and Meta AI decide its ok for them to watch you

  • US Navy confirms it’s getting a cool new laser drone

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Given xAI’s pledge to be the most truth-seeking and non-censored AI on the market, we can’t wait to hear what happens when people start asking it questions like “does this outfit make me look fat?” or in a allusion to the classic of Snow White - “am i the fairest of them all?”

Unbeknownst to policy holders, insurance companies everywhere quietly update their exclusion clauses to remove their liability for any person or property damaged by “a flaming ball of fire caused by re-entry of Soviet era space material into Earth’s atmosphere”.

Not to be outdone by their geopolitical rivals, policy makers in the Trump administration get to work on an ambitious plan to dam to entirety of the Pacific Ocean.

When asked for clarity what that even means, staffers responded with “it’ll be the greatest dam you’ve ever damn seen and will power every American with enough electricity to run a small manufacturing facility in their backyard and finally be free of our dependency on Chinese made products!”

Just when you thought drinking water from the tap was the one safe thing in your diet, this news comes out and ruins everything.

Fortunately the water found in wine is almost entirely from the grapes themselves (which are filtered naturally by the vine roots) so logically, this mandates we hydrate with a bottle of wine or two per day to avoid the toxic buildup of plastic dust in our sweet, alcohol-soaked blood.

No need to worry, nothing creepy happening here. Totally normal lizard king of Facebook just watching what you’re doing. Watching and waiting and collecting. Yes, that’s it, just keep sending in your precious data. This is all for your benefit…

Hint: We should be worried and no, this is not normal. If they need our data that badly they should pay us for it. Period.

Ever since the Star Wars movies came out in the late 1970s it’s been one tease after another for finally getting laser weapons.

At this point almost 50 years later, they better live up to the hype and come in super-bright colors with awesome sound effects (whether they hit their target or not, duh) or we’re just not interested.

A person can only take so many promises of laser weapons without follow-through before all the joy of boyhood wonder and awesomeness is lost.

Notorious Mention
stories deemed to have that certain something (call it a chaotic potential) probably worth keeping an eye (or some omnipresent robo-vision device) focused on and tracking

Category

Topic

Latest Post Date

Autonomous weapons

Pentagon admits it wants killer robots ASAP

Autonomous weapons

Billionaire kid building drone army

Health and wellness

Microplastics found in drinking water

Current

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everything is gonna be alright*

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For those whose curiosity > fear; able to navigate collective idiocy with wisdom, humor, and grace → this is your space.

See you next week

*disclaimer: we guarantee nothing

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